Monday, October 26, 2009

A new direction

So...I got into grad school! I'm trying hard to be excited, but it's kind of hard. I already got into Emory's business school, which was tougher than Queens - so there's a part of me that feels that I shouldn't brag about this. But this is actually a program that fascinates me. I want to get this degree not as "the next step", but as a something that I really want to learn and focus on.

I'd love to get my PhD, but it sounds scary. Believe it or not, but I actually dislike writing. I do it here for practice, but I'd MUCH rather give a speech. I have no fear whatsoever of public speaking, which is odd considering I'm terrified of people reading my writing. This new masters program is very writing intensive.

What if I'm no good at this program? I'd love to be an MBA professor, but what if I'm a terrible teacher?

Ugh. The what-ifs are my personal demon. I'm so jealous of those who float through life, confident and self-assured.

One day at a time, right? I'll say one thing - I'm thrilled to have something to do. All these months of sitting around, watching tv and doing laundry - I can't wait to have a purpose.

Wish me luck...

2 comments:

  1. I think that we only perceive that people are floating confidently. I think that most people are intimidated, but we just don't ever get to know them well enough to find out. I know you will do great, and you will know in time if you will be a good teacher. If you find something that you are passionate about, then others will be drawn to you. Can I shut up now, and try to listen to my own advice? How about some fat bastard cabernet?

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