The Family!

Finley, sleeping on his sofa
Johnny Cash, looking sleepy (for a change)David with the puppies
Bella and her beloved stuffed animal, Baby
Bella wearing her Halloween collar

Halloween

I can't decide what I want to be for Halloween.

I love Halloween - maybe it's my theater background, maybe it's the overall atmosphere. Who knows? Whatever the reason, I'm soooo excited about Halloween at our new house. We live in a neighborhood with tons of kids and I hope we'll have tons of trick-or-treaters.

It's such a great holiday. Everyone gets to dress up, there's no pressure to buy anybody presents, and entire neighborhoods get together to celebrate. What's not to love??

I've never bought into the whole drunken slutty Halloween stuff. Halloween is for kids and families, but I guess if I was 20 years old, I'd be interested in dressing up as a slutty whatever.

Maybe I'll put on a witch's hat. I'm going to borrow a friend's 5 year 0ld to help me shop for decorations and a costume. It should be a fantastically fun time!

JFK Week

Okay, I admit it - I'm a total and complete History Channel nut. I've been watching all week (JFK week), and wish that I had majored in history or gotten a law degree.

(Seriously, how fascinating would a law degree be?? I have no desire to actually be an attorney, but would love the process of law school)

Anyway. It's amazing how much history our country has had in such a short period of time. Kennedy was assassinated a mere 50 years ago! I wonder what high schoolers are taught today. Did you know that there are 2 existing government documents discussing the assassination? And they totally contradict one another? And that the percentage of people who believe in a conspiracy (70%) has remained the same?

I have no idea who actually killed JFK, but I believe the government knows. And I believe that we'll never know exactly what happened. It's probably in some secret file somewhere in J. Edgar Hoover's files.

So interesting. He was obviously shot from the front and the back, meaning from the depository and the grassy knoll. Anyone got any great theories?

A new direction

So...I got into grad school! I'm trying hard to be excited, but it's kind of hard. I already got into Emory's business school, which was tougher than Queens - so there's a part of me that feels that I shouldn't brag about this. But this is actually a program that fascinates me. I want to get this degree not as "the next step", but as a something that I really want to learn and focus on.

I'd love to get my PhD, but it sounds scary. Believe it or not, but I actually dislike writing. I do it here for practice, but I'd MUCH rather give a speech. I have no fear whatsoever of public speaking, which is odd considering I'm terrified of people reading my writing. This new masters program is very writing intensive.

What if I'm no good at this program? I'd love to be an MBA professor, but what if I'm a terrible teacher?

Ugh. The what-ifs are my personal demon. I'm so jealous of those who float through life, confident and self-assured.

One day at a time, right? I'll say one thing - I'm thrilled to have something to do. All these months of sitting around, watching tv and doing laundry - I can't wait to have a purpose.

Wish me luck...

My Grad School Personal Statement

Okay, I'm sending this out today, so make any comments ASAP!

The path leading to this program has not been easy or direct for me. I have spent the past decade working in so-called “good” jobs, yet never quite achieving any sense of career fulfillment. My nine years in finance, while satisfying on an purely intellectual level, was neither engaging nor rewarding on a personal level. After much research, I feel that the Masters program in Organizational Communication is a perfect fit for my interests, skills, and future goals.

People have always asked me how a French major ended up working in investment banking. It’s an excellent question, and one that I have asked myself many times over the past 9 years. I accepted the job because I am innately curious, and I knew it would challenge and educate me. Was it an area in which I had any actual interest? No, but I learned something new every day those first few years. I loved interacting with intelligent people, loved dealing with clients, and loved observing the internal structure (and power plays) at a big corporation. Over time, I began to realize that I had absorbed the jargon and the basic routine. The learning curve flattened, and the things that attracted me to the industry no longer existed.

I decided to pursue an MBA, with the goal of changing careers. I chose Emory University due to its strong Organization and Management department, including mandatory communication, leadership, and ethics courses. At the beginning, I was particularly interested in the field of human resource consulting, which addresses corporate issues such as employee identification and motivation, internal communication, and leadership styles. I was fascinated by these topics, and selected a course of study accordingly. However, the more time that I spent in class convinced me that I could make more of an impact by teaching at a business school, rather than working as an outside consultant. I saw many students graduate with great statistics skills and no ability to actually communicate or lead in a corporate setting. Many students laughed off the mandatory communication classes, considering them nothing more than “soft skills” or “girl classes”. I perceived the classes in the opposite manner. Having worked in investment banking, I was fully aware that finance can be taught; yet, these so-called “soft skills” were often completely missing in many otherwise top performers. Without these abilities, it is very difficult for anyone to be truly successful on a long-term basis in a leadership position, regardless of how talented he or she may be at statistics.

After much debate, I made the difficult decision to leave the MBA program in order to pursue a more specific course of study. I wanted to focus on the psychology of business interactions. Why do people interact the way they do? How do outside forces shape internal interactions? Can we affect the way people think and act within a business without outright manipulation? The term manipulation is pejorative, but what is its realistic place in corporate communications? The list goes on and on, and I knew that the strict MBA program was not going to allow me to delve deeply into these topics.

I researched several communications programs, but was drawn to Queens University for a number of reasons. The University’s close ties with the business community are very appealing because they ground the program in an applicable, practice-based course of study. I also like the idea of a young program, adapting and growing with the shifts in communication today. Finally, I appreciate the interaction with the business school, as that is my particular interest.

I believe I would be an excellent fit with the program. I am intellectually curious and driven by a personal passion for the subject. I also look forward to conducting dedicated research studies, as I have never had that experience. This program will also allow me to pursue my future goal of teaching. I plan to study for my PhD after completing this degree, and I am particularly interested in the Organizational Science program offered at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. It has a similar real-world focus as the Queens program and would allow me to teach at the graduate level, preferably in an MBA program. I also believe the Masters in Communications would prepare me to perform outside consulting work in the business community, specifically in investor relations. This would be an excellent blend of my work experience in finance with the advanced skills and focus of the masters program.

The program combines my passion for learning with my passion for the subject matter; my innate skills with my capacity to learn. I look forward to beginning the next part of my professional life, and I believe the Masters in Communications from Queens University is the first step.

Both Ways Is The Only Way I Want It

I'm reading a beautiful book of short stories by Maile Meloy called "Both Ways is the Only Way I Want It". The stories are perfect snapshots of ordinary lives, capturing the melancholy and joy and stillness of everyday life. I would highly recommend it to anyone.

I bought the book on my Kindle, but I'm going to buy a hard copy of it as well. This is a book I will definitely read again.

Crazy Liberal Nazi Democrats

I've had it with the town hall crazies - absolutely and totally fed up with the inane, hateful, and uneducated vitriol being spewed from hateful, uneducated people. The biggest example is the "Nazi" comparison. Do these people know anything about history? It's unbelievably dangerous to compare healthcare reform to the Nazi platform. In doing so, it diminishes the historical impact of Hitler and makes him just another politician with whom people disagreed.

We can't allow "Nazi" to be used as just another insult. Comparing Obama to Hitler is also equally unacceptable.

Wanting to provide decent healthcare to all people is not the same thing as Mein Kampf. Please, people - let's get back to a civil and reasonable discourse.

When I Grow Up...Part 2

So I think I've worked out a tentative plan. I'm so fascinated by the Organizational Communications masters program, but I don't think I'm ready to start classes on Sept. 8. Instead, I've applied for a part-time job at the vet as a client service associate (cross your fingers), with the goal of starting grad school (again) in January. This program would give me the opportunity to eventually get my PhD, teach, or consult with companies. I'd LOVE to work on a political campaign - this would definitely open some doors.

But I'm a little nervous about starting a new program. After all, I never finished the first one. What if I decide that I don't like this course of study? What if I'm no good at it? What if I don't get along with my fellow students? And so on and so on.

This is a huge change from my previous life and career, and I know that any change is scary. I stayed in finance for so long not because I liked it, but because the status quo is pretty comfortable. I could easily go find a job in finance again, make good money, wear all those suits hanging in my closet...and continue to feel stuck.

Deep breath. Has anyone else made a big change like this?

Racism Today

I watched a terrifying special about the Ku Klux Klan on the History Channel recently. Having grown up in Birmingham, Alabama, I'm very familiar with the history of this particular brand of virulent racism. Every child has to study civil rights in depth in elementary school, and my mother told me all about her experiences growing up during that era. Birmingham is actually a very integrated city now (much more than Charlotte) - perhaps due to the fact that the city has made a very concerted effort to not sweep its history under the rug. Race is openly discussed, which I think is a much healthier way to deal with the issue. I loved living in Atlanta because it was such a fabulously diverse environment; Charlotte is an entirely different situation, which is disheartening.

Anyway, my point is that I grew up with an understanding and very real fear of the Ku Klux Klan. My mother's high school was one of the first schools in Birmingham to be integrated, which incurred the wrath of the Klan. They marched on the school, and my mother's description of the event still sends chills up my spine.

The television special focused on the history of the Klan, but also discussed its current incarnations. Contrary to popular belief, the Klan has not faded away into obscurity, but has experienced a surge of popularity in the past few years. Unfortunately, Barack Obama's election has provided bigots and racists with ample motivation. It was terrifying to watch video of recent Klan rallies (complete with children and infants in hoods) rail against the President.

While we've made unbelievable progress in terms of race relations over the past 40ish years, it's not enough. And as long as there are young children being indoctrinated into this belief system, it's not going away any time soon.

I think all school children should be required to watch "Mississippi Burning". It's such a powerful movie - and even more so when you consider that those feelings still exist in our country today.

Awesome.

This video completely negates the scary "birther" video that I posted earlier. How fantastic to find a couple that decided to make their wedding fun and celebratory, instead of formal and conventional?? You can't help but smile.

I walked down the aisle to David's brother playing "Here Comes the Sun" on the piano, and our hymn was "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. At the time, I was pretty happy with our little tweak on convention, but now I'm bummed I didn't dance!

Scary Stuff...

When I Grow Up...

I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. See, some people know exactly what they want to be (i.e., David loves arguing and therefore loves being a lawyer). Others have such a dominant skill or interest that it makes the eventual decision easier. Me? I change my mind every month.

I'm very good at finance and business, which is why I've been doing it for 9 years. I enjoy the office environment and culture, but I can't stand finance itself. I hate math. Yet somehow I got started down this path and got trapped - the money had a lot to do with this. Now I have the opportunity to not stay in finance, and I can't decide which option to take.

I've thought a lot about teaching elementary level French, which would require a teaching certificate. I love languages, but I'm not certain if I would enjoy spending all day in the classroom without adult interaction.

I could go back to work at Merrill Lynch in another capacity - operations or management, perhaps. Maybe I should find a way to finish my MBA.

Or I could pursue an MA in strategic communications. This is the program that interests me the most, and these were my favorite classes at Emory. Negotiations, crisis management, gender communications, group dynamics - absolutely fascinating. I even wrote an entry for a business encyclopedia on persuasion, which was super cool. I'd love to teach at a graduate level, even pursue a PhD. The question is, how do I pay for this? And what do I do in the meantime? I'll be paying my business school loans for years to come, and I hate to add to them.

Of course, every time I watch an action movie, I tell David that I'm going to be a hostage negotiator or spy or FBI agent.

Suggestions are VERY welcome!

Old Lady Fashion Crimes

Clearly, I am completely inappropriate at the ancient age of 30. I wear high heels, t-shirts with print on them, mini skirts, and the occasional low cut shirt, among other crimes. On behalf of my aged self, I apologize for offending the delicate fashion sensibilities of this author.

Seriously, isn't it time we got rid of these old-fashioned views on age and fashion? I love seeing an older woman rocking some of these so-called crimes. I really think it's about personal style and confidence, rather than rules. Personally, I feel as if I've developed so much more of a individual style as I've gotten older, rather than just following the trends.

Plus, stiletto heels totally rock.

Yay 30!

I've decided that I really like being 30. My twenties were fairly (or extremely) turbulent, and I just feel as if I've been given a fresh start with a new decade. It cracks me up that teenagers now consider me old!

I feel more confident in my body and less concerned with what other people are thinking. I'm more comfortable expressing my opinion (David might say too comfortable!), and I'm just happier.

I'm looking forward to turning 31 :)

Marriage for Dummies

I got this hysterical magazine in the mail yesterday, and it made my day. Apparently, they send it to anyone who's created a wedding registry recently, and it's full of "helpful" tips on marriage. Let me tell you, I would never, ever get married (much less twice) if I had read this first!

It must be written for a younger audience, or at least I hope so. My personal favorite article was the "Are you in sync sexually?". The first question was "Do you feel like you're doing it often enough". Okay, fair question, I guess. Then I read the answers. First choice - "Nope, we used to do it a lot more before we got married." Second choice - "Yep, I'm just not in the mood very often. It's more of a special occasion thing now". WHAT?? Those are the only choices? Have the authors completely bought into the myth of sex dying out as soon as you get married? Or do the readers really feel this way? Other questions talk about variety in the bedroom, foreplay, and sex toys - and the responses are all along the same lines. There is clearly a female and male answer to each question, in which the wife isn't supposed to be interested in sex at all and the husband can't get enough and is dissatisfied with the amount he's getting. (Don't even get me started on the juvenile terms the author uses in the article.)

The entire magazine is incredibly divided into stereotypical gender roles. There's even a oh-so-helpful diagram explaining how "boys" and "girls" react differently in arguments.

David's favorite part was the cartoon on the last page, which explains that staying out until 3:00 am, not calling, and coming home drunk makes the womenfolk crazy. It points out that calling at midnight gets you out of the doghouse, while still letting you get drunk with the boys. Gee, thanks for the tip!

I can't decide whether to get angry or just roll my eyes at this entire publication. I think it's just kind of scary that people get married without talking through these things (and again, I speak from experience).