Monday, January 19, 2009

The School Dilemma

I honestly thought that I would be all better and back at school within a week of getting out of the hospital. David drove me to my parents' house for my 30th birthday party (I celebrated with plain bread while everyone else drank wine and ate steak. Boo.). I was a little shaky, but optimistic - actually getting a little stressed about all the homework I had due.

There was a bit of conflict going on in my mind. Here's the thing - I didn't really like business school, per se. I loved classes and I loved the discussions and the professors, but I didn't like the subjects. I enjoyed the communications and strategy classes, but couldn't stand economics or statistics.

The stereotype of a business school student is arrogant, money-obsessed, Republican, white male, etc. I'm not going to lie - there are definitely some of those, mostly in the full-time program. (I had fun taunting them during the election.) But as a whole, I met incredible people at school. Goizueta attracts a different type of person, and really focuses on core values instead of status. I have no doubt that I wouldn't have lasted a day at one of the cutthroat "top" schools. The competitive environment made me react like some kind of rebellious teenager. The more everyone stressed about grades and jobs, the lazier and less concerned I acted. Counterproductive, I know. Why bust my ass to get a Distinction when I could watch bad TV, never open my text books, and get a High Pass instead?

I also started telling people that I was in graduate school for business communications and psychology, in order to avoid saying that I was a business school student. I was oddly embarrassed by my choice to go to Goizueta, especially since I was becoming more and more certain that I didn't want to be in traditional "business". Of course, I had no idea what I wanted to do instead (still don't). All I know is finance.

I felt like I just had to finish and get it over with so I could have the letters on my resume.

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